Feng Shui Your Relationships

As a family we decided to host an AFS exchange student back in 1999. The first of many and this one was a successful first experience all around. Our student came in August from Switzerland and stayed for a year. In May, all of the NJ AFS students had their last of several mandatory orientation weekends. For this last one, the host families were invited on the last day for a talent show the teens had put together and there was an honoring of the host families. They each wrote a letter to their host family and read it out loud for everyone to hear. There were lots of tears among the families, especially the moms. When our student got up to read his, it started off as expected by telling everyone about his experiences. Then he said something that nearly knocked me over. He said it amazed him how never once did we raise our voices or argue with another family member. He was so impressed by that. This was a behavior he had not experienced before. I have since met his parents and brothers and they are wonderful people. They came to the USA and stayed with us. A few years later we went to Switzerland to visit them and had a fabulous time together. We still keep in touch once a year at Christmas time.

So I wonder..why can’t we just all get along? I’m sure that question has been asked a zillion times over the centuries among humans. But, as we all know relationships can be very complicated.
*Note…when I speak of relationships I’m talking about all kinds, not just the love variety.

When it comes to Feng Shui I ask you…How does your particular combination of household items affect how you relate to others on a subconscious level? Can or do you relate well? Yes, maybe, no, not yet? I’ll explain how it works with Feng Shui.

First you need to locate the relationship area, which is in the back right-hand corner of the house as you walk in the front door. Before I move on, here are a few issues you might want to ask yourself about the relationships in your life.
Do you want to:
* find “the one”
* make a commitment without fear
* get married
* put some fire back into a relationship
* get along better with family, friends, and/or co-workers
* learn to trust people again

Here are some Feng Shui tips to help you in your goal for successful relationships.

<——— entry is from this side ——–>

First, think about what love or getting along better actually is. Something emotional and intuitive, yes? So check out your relationship area. How does it feel? Loving? Emotionally comfortable? I would guess probably not if you’re having issues. If not, it is time to focus your energy on this special area. Attentively decorate it while thinking loving thoughts. Then loving things will happen in your life. That is, if you want it enough to make it happen.

There are certain colors that reflect love and friendship such as pink and red. Objects as well such as flowers, heart shapes, and pairs of things. Placing a few of these things can help…as long as you include your thoughtful intent.

Here are a list of “tools” that you could use:
* Mirrors that reflect the light and energy in the room. But don’t go over board. Remember, too much of a good thing isn’t good. But, if your bedroom happens to be in relationship area, you don’t want mirrors placed where you can see your reflection when you’re in the bed. Best to not have any at all because it is too yang (active). The bedroom is a place of rest (yin).
* Candles generate heat and energy, so heat it up! Try using one for each person in the relationship – not just of the love kind.
* Hot tub – if you want one in your backyard, try to place it in the relationship area of the property.
* Fresh fragrant flowers and the colors pink or red as mentioned before.
* Sensual sounds…a matter of taste, but I’m guessing not heavy metal.
* Symbols that mean love to you. Get creative, but here are a few suggestions. Animal-print material, a bottle of bubbly w/2 glasses, or 2 of anything (statues, plants, lights, pillows)
* A bowl of passion fruit or chocolate kisses
* Equality..be sure there is equality on both sides of the bed where ever your bedroom is in the house. Example > 2 matching or very similar night-stands.

Now for the no, no’s:
* Negative images: no pictures of ex-relationships, single of anything, or anything that’s dark or disturbing in any way.
* Unfriendly stuff: cactus, weapons of any kind, or anything that gives the feeling of loneliness or violence.
* Single stuff: If you have a twin bed, get a full or queen or at the least, invest in a guest pillow that matches yours. Get rid of all of the “single” photos of yourself and any art work that’s of 1 of anything.
* Games: move them out. Now you don’t want to be playing games with any relationship right?
* Clutter/Uncleanliness: creating a loving energy is difficult when there’s too much stuff everywhere, dust and scattered belongings all around. Don’t forget your closets! De-clutter and organize them too.
* Storage: the space under your bed looks like the perfect place to put empty luggage, wrapping paper, etc. Sorry, its got to go so the chi (energy) can move freely.
* Distractions: this would include televisions, computers, exercise equipment or your ex’s stuff that needs to be moved out. If these things have to stay, then cover them with a nice fabric that reflects this area.

Now when it comes to getting along with friends, family or co-workers, try this simple solution. Write their name on a piece of paper. Try red or pink paper and perhaps cut it in a heart shape. Maybe you’ve got a whole bunch of people you want a better relationship with. Write the names on separate pieces of paper, unless they all go together. Then place them in the relationship area. They don’t have to be out in plain sight.

For an extra punch, take a look at the relationships’ opposite corner, it’s knowledge (lower-left).  You can address this area as well by placing a reminder of trust by equalizing the energy with an affirmation. For example: I have trust in myself and the universe to make decisions in my highest good.

There’s one more important thing you need to look at and that’s your bed placement. It doesn’t matter which area of the home it’s in. You want your bed in the power position, which is opposite the door to the room. While there may be issues with this placement in your home, keep in mind that you never want the bed to ever be in direct line with the door.

bed placement

There is much to consider when it comes to Feng Shui, so I can’t possibly go into everything here. If you have concerns, bring in a consultant. But the best things you can do right now are:
*remove withering or dead stuff
*review your bed and bedroom as already suggested
*add enhancements as necessary.
Last, but certainly not least is the 3 part activation, in fact, it’s the most important part! Do this after you’ve made your adjustmants.
1. body: a hand mudra – hands in prayer position is the most common
2. speech: speak out loud 9 times > a tradtional chant (Om Ma Ni Pad Me Hum) or affirmation
3. visualization: close your eyes and visualize every detail of what you want to happen.

Having relationships are a part of being human. So why not use all possible tools in that tool box of life to help make them work better. At the same time, while this can be hard, it’s important to realize when it’s time to let a relationship go.

“Relationships are more important than life,
but it is important for those to have life in them.”
~Swami Vivekananda




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Welcome to my Body, Mind & Home Wellness Blog! It is my goal to support my clients through inspiration, education and guidance to create wellness in their body, mind, & home through the practices of feng shui, elemental space clearing, yoga, and more.

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